I once was lost but now am found, Was blind, but now I see. John NewtonHave you ever felt like you are losing a whole lot at one time? While I am generally an even-keeled, everything is replacable type of girl; these past few weeks have kind of jolted me.
Earlier this month I realized that my wedding rings had gone missing. Now, this is not an uncommon occurrence. I will generally take them off to clean or workout; and will get sidetracked with the kids and forget where I put them. However, we are pushing two weeks now with the rings nowhere in sight. I generally put them on a counter next to my fridge, and about a week ago I saw that my son has been pushing the chair over to that particular counter to find adventure in the kitchen (well, maybe for the M&Ms and coin jar). So, my current theory is that its either under the fridge to the right of the counter, or they fell in the trash can to the left of the counter. In any event, I went out and found a cz replacement for my left ring finger, because I was just feeling a little too naked. Even sadder -- I really don't want to pull out the fridge, because if they are not there -- the plausible conclusion is that they were thrown out a couple of weeks ago with the garbage!
During this same time, dear friends and mentors to me are leaving the comfort of Arkansas to follow God in a new place of ministry. Losing this couple has been hard on me -- not just me, but lots of people. My poor husband watched me cry through practically a whole worship service as I remembered how much these people mean to me. Yes, I am happy to watch them follow Jesus to a new area of ministry -- just a little sad that its 6 hours away from me!
Earlier this week, a friend lost his life after a long battle. While I probably hadn't seen him in almost a year, he holds a special place in the hearts of so many. I was lucky enough to watch him play sports from the comfort and up-close view from my cheer leading position since junior high. I would give him a sly smile and tell him that he was never going to learn American History by copying my homework; only to have him smile back with those bright eyes and pearly whites. I remember the lump in my throat and the tears when he didn't get up after being hit on the football field; but also the pride watching him go across the stage at graduation. While he was an amazing athlete before the accident, he was probably a stronger man after it -- recovering to be a great example of strength, humility, and honor for me and so many others.
This perfect storm of emotions has left me a little anxious and vulnerable, but when I finally get my act together and bring these feelings before God I am of course humbled and comforted by his answers. David said "Where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD" in Psalm 121. So, where better to turn than to his word. I was lead to the parables of those things lost -- the sheep, the silver coin, and the son. It didn't necessarily relieve my pain, but it did help me to remember than God rejoices when we are in his presence -- when we leave everything in our lives at his feet. How easy that is to forget, when we try to load down our lives with everything that we are feeling, thinking, and doing.
So, my rings -- well, as sad as I am that they may be gone, they are only rings. My friends who moved are following God into a new area of ministry, and my other friend -- I will see again, just as God has promised.
*Disclaimer - This probably came across as a "Debbie Downer" post, and for that I am sorry. I am hoping that this reflection may help me, and maybe others. Regular, posting shall resume shortly.
Posts
